Cross Point Church is having a wonderful series right now called "5 things that will ruin your marriage" and it has truly been amazing for both married and single people. Pete Wilson, the pastor, says that it is a help guide for married people and a cheat sheet for singles that may one day be married.
First of all, we need to ask ourselves why do we want to be married, or why did I get married?
It is important first of all to know what Marriage is NOT.
It is not a strategy for wholeness. It is not about fulfillment- only Jesus can fulfill us. If someone tells you that you complete them... RUN!
There are a lot of things from this series that have stuck out to me. One thing in particular is when our pastor Pete said this:
"Lonely single people turn into lonely married people."
For all you single people let that sink in for a minute. How often have we caught ourselves thinking that when we get married we won't be lonely anymore, or I have to get married because I'm fearful of being lonely. Marriage is not a cure to loneliness.
So, why get married?
gives my marriage a purpose.
Read Gen 2:18 and 1:28- a purpose in marriage is companionship and raising children.
God has given us a desire to do something significant together- you are married with a mission.
We should pray together with our spouse or potential spouse.
We are not created just to love each other, but to love others together.
gives my marriage maturity.
Read Colossians 3:23- Do I want God at the center of my marriage, or just in the mix?
For the singles: There is a difference in dating someone that has God in the mix of their life and someone that has God in the center of their life.
gives my marriage grace.
Read Lamentations 3:22-23
Marriage is hard because it unites 2 sinners.
Another thing that Pete did was re-define the concept of the man being the "spiritual leader". This does not mean that the man knows more about the bible or is less of a sinner than his wife, but it means that he is the "spiritual initiator".
You can listen to the whole series online at crosspoint.tv or you can download podcast on iTunes. Just search "cross point tv"
This has truly been an eye-opening series and has given me a totally different outlook on marriage. I pray that you are somehow encouraged by this today.